You ever see…?

You ever see someone lift up the “Out of Order” sign from where it ever so comfortably rested (say, taped over the elevator call button) and press the button? . . . And then complain that “the elevator must be broken or somethin’ “…!?!?!?

Unfortunately, I have.

You ever see someone fight for the right to use a calculator on a test because “it’s not a math test and in real life we will be able to use a calculator”, WIN, and still get all the math questions wrong!?!?!?

Unfortunately, I have.

You ever hear someone tell a story of how one time the toilet seat slipped underneath them in the office bathroom causing injury to their testicles and forcing them to file for injury at work?

Unfortunately, I have… Why the hell would you tell that story if it happened to you? I wouldn’t! I guess we all just need to talk some things out… Which reminds me of a story told to me by someone who allegedly got it from the source. I’ll leave out the particulars to spare the shamed and the guilty (and keep the setting entirely anonymous!), but a long story short:

a man acted with ill intent against a group of homosexuals, who then took revenge against him by gang raping him the next day. He then, somewhat more casually than one might expect, tells everyone he knows the story of how he got gang raped by a bunch of strangers…

Once againWhy would you tell that story if it happened to you!? There are some theories with this one…

You ever see the look on a man’s face who, after mis-timing a leap in front of a subway train, is knocked back onto the platform by the force of the train?

I haven’t, but I’ve heard it’s a pretty stupid look!

You ever have to call security for a fight in the elevator only to find the security guard beating the living hell out of someone in the elevator?

Fortunately, I have! [In the guard’s defense, she was defending her kin…]

More later…!

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